Blond Monster Oreo Cookie goes well with Phantom Menace.

Both are disgusting, poorly conceived abominations that will leave you feeling sick to your stomach afterward.

 I feel compelled to point out some further similarities between these two bastions of suck. 

An Epic Poem, by B.O.B.

Peter picks Pam's poncho pocket
Howard eats Dale's bread
Steven snakes the drain, twas stuffed with
Hair from Mary's head

Billy bathes with Bob's new soap
Nathan picks Nick's nose
Tyson's left trips Tommy's right and
Hannah hikes her hoes

Words of wisdom from Barney and Nunchuck Kitty

Hi Gang.

Being the co-writer of a blog, and therefore smarter and more awesome than a mere blog-reader, I have decided to impart some wisdom at you fine folks so you can get your hootenanny on in style.   With me today is Co-Illuminator Nunchuck Kitty, my fine, furry, furious friend.

A flurry of fine, furry fury!!!

 So to make this simple enough for you to read and commence hootenanery at the same time, we will do a list.

Behold the List of Wisdom (and wet food)  

Really, don't EVER try giving Nunchuck Kitty dry food.  He will fuck you up. 

RESPONSE TO BARNEY: And then I found 20 dragons dicks or whaterver

Barney,

I just read your blog post about reading fantasy books.  I would convince you to shy away from books all together and instead watch fantasy movies.  A picture is worth a thousand words, so if one frame of film is a picture, then a two hour movie is literally worth, like, 172,800,000 words.

In this case: 1,036,800,000 words...

You're getting the better end of the deal, AND you don't have to stop and look shit up when you don't understand something.  With a movie, you can just hit rewind.  Oh, and fuck foreign movies, cuz then you have to read them and you might as well be reading a book.

Movies I recommend (that can be purchased at Buck's Discount-Mart):

and then I found 20 gold dragoons...

Hi everyone!  Barney here.  Something happened to me on the subway the other day that got me to thinkin', and that that is never a good thing.  So here goes: this blog's first official rant!

Reading is not just for dorks and four-eyes.  Many people can enjoy it, especially those who, say, have never been near a TV.  There are countless benefits to being literate as well.  Archeologists know that opening a sarcophagus marked "Curse of Hemorrhoids" is probably a bad idea.  Men know that any girl with a tramp stamp that says "sure thing" and an arrow pointed downwards is probably worth double-bagging it.  Reading is also a useful skill if you want to delve into the wide, wonderful world of books.  Books are tomes of knowledge that contain information on subjects of the author's choosing.  Some books will guide you safely through a zombie apocalypse.  Others are written by Jane Austen and were not intended to have zombies in them at all.  Some books are useful.  Others have pictures of boobs.  As I said, useful.  Others can be of no use at all.  Math books, dragon porn, and James Joyce fall into the latter category.  But of all the books in the world that attempt to teach you valuable information, fantasy novels are among the least effective.  They take place in magical realms named Glamorgschlia and Squbboobussiblesssssss.  They have characters that carry impossibly large swords and messiah complexes to match.  More importantly, some have hot elf chicks. Many of these books are very, very shitty...

Welcome to Trombone Sniffing Weasel Dogs

Hello, and welcome to Trombone Sniffing Weasel Dogs.  We are a non-profit organization dedicated to the dumbening of your day.  That being said, every time you laugh, stick a quarter in an envelope and address it to Barney Byoocake.  Don't worry, the Post Office will know where to stick it. 


Here is a picture of the Brothers Byoocake: